Tears as men tell of their abuse ordeals as victims of gender-based violence

Both men and women, and especially taxi drivers, at Eshowe taxi rank listen to speakers relating their GBV experiences at the hands of their spouses. Picture: Supplied

Both men and women, and especially taxi drivers, at Eshowe taxi rank listen to speakers relating their GBV experiences at the hands of their spouses. Picture: Supplied

Published Feb 20, 2023

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Durban — The uMlalazi community was left in awe on Friday as three men shared their abuse stories at the launch of the Phefumula Ndoda initiative.

The initiative is aimed at dealing with gender-based violence (GBV) perpetrated on men by their spouses and family. Tears were shed and lessons were learnt as men from different parts of KZN gave vent to their heartbreaking experiences of abuse.

The joint programme between the uMlalazi Municipality and the Ayanda Msweli Foundation was held at the Eshowe taxi rank.

The drive aimed at creating an awareness of the dangers of GBV.

Ayanda Msweli Foundation founder Ayanda Msweli, a radio presenter, said the impetus for the partnership with uMlalazi Municipality came from their drive to tackle GBV.

“We first handled the case of Zenzo Sibiya, who for years was abused by his wife.”

According to the foundation, the campaign was pioneered by three men who had suffered abuse at the hands of their spouses.

Sibiya said he had decided to become part of the Phefumula Ndoda campaign after he decided to move out of his home because of his abusive wife. He wanted to make other men aware that speaking out about spousal abuse was the answer.

Sibiya said: “After hearing about the campaign, I took a decision to become part of it and warn other men about the dangers of keeping quiet when being abused by their spouse.”

Sibiya added that he wanted to see the campaign spread across the province, and become a national programme, as this would lessen the scourge of GBV countrywide.

The Rainbow Circle’s programme founder and co-ordinator, Peggy Strachan, added her voice, saying that as an organisation fighting GBV, they welcomed the initiative.

“The area of Eshowe has got a vibrant victim empowerment programme. We visit schools, rural communities and other sectors of our local society to make them aware of the dangers of concealing acts of GBV.

Phefumula Ndoda was a great, welcome campaign. When we spoke to the men at the Eshowe taxi rank, most listened to Sibiya and his counterparts speaking out about their experiences. This is a very serious situation, and therefore we appreciate what the Ayanda Msweli Foundation together with uMlalazi Municipality have embarked on,” Strachan said.

uMlalazi Mayor Queen Theodorah Xulu said GBV cases perpetrated on men had escalated in uMlalazi, which had prompted her to establish a programme aimed at listening to men on why they committed gender-based crimes and even committed suicide.

“After listening … I have concluded that, indeed, GBV equally affects all genders. We must not always be selective on this issue, and we must begin to develop proactive mechanisms instead of being reactive all the time.”

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