Oh no you didn't!
We've all been through some embarrassing experiences when it comes to sex and although I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time - it certainly provides for a good laugh now.
Below are some of the best, most embarrassing sex stories I've come across that was definitely worth the read.
1.“My long term boyfriend at the time spent most of his nights with me at an apartment I shared with my mother. Although we had privacy (with the door being shut), having sex with my mother in the next room was still risky a business. One Saturday morning my guy woke me up with a hard-one and being the sexual animal I am, I decided to take pleasure in the moment. You should know once I'm in my sexual trance I can think of nothing else which is why I completely forgot that my mother normally does the washing on a Saturday morning. All I remember was that my legs were wrapped around my guy's neck when my mother walked in. Any normal parent would exit the room quicker than they came in but not my mother. She stood at the door for what felt like a lifetime and had the nerve to ask me what we were doing? You would think that was the highlight of encounter but there's more. After closing the door she went outside and stuck her head at my window and screamed: awkward… and laughed! It wasn't funny at the time but sure made me laugh thinking about that experience.” Liezl - Pretoria
2.“My partner was performing oral sex on me when I suddenly felt a fart coming, I asked her to stop but she ignored me - safe to say I farted in her mouth.” Dumi- Johannesburg
3.“After 8 years being in a relationship with a younger guy,we finally decided to have sex. The fantasy was definitely way better then the real thing, here's why. First of all he didn't know how to put on the condom. Then he asked if and I quote: "please make me stronger in bed." What the hell does that even mean? To make matters worse the condom slipped off! That was the first and last time I had sex with him.” Zilan - Knysna
4.“My primary school crush and I had this silly “make-believe” relationship but in high school when the hormones developed, so did the sexual tension between us. He was my bestie for 11 years and when we finally decided that we were ready to take our relationship to the next level... wait for it, he couldn't get hard. No matter what I did, he was unable to perform." Tamsyn - Cape Town
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5.“On my first date with my now husband, I had a massive high and maybe was drinking one too many... because hello, this was the man of my dreams! We went to a club and while having the time of my life, he took me aside and asked with a dead serious face: “Please be honest with me, are you taking drugs?” It only got worse after we got back to my flat and I started throwing myself on him trying my best to have wild sex. Thank goodness he is such a gentleman and didn't let that happen. Anyway, I ended up swimming in the bath with my underwear on and he seriously thought I was going to drown myself trying his best pulling me out. I woke up the next morning feeling so embarrassed, but hey, its 5 years later and we are happily married. #CRINGE” Lauren- Cape Town
6.“I was a final year student, he was fresh out of high school... it ended up being his first time and I had to explain to him how everything works. It was so awkward, but things got even worse. The next morning I realized we forgot to use protection and he freaked out when I told him that I might get pregnant. We rushed to the pharmacy and got the morning-after-pill. I'm never having sex with a virgin again!” Caryn - Johannesburg
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7.“I had this sexual partner that knew exactly how to bring out the freak in me and when it came to trying new things in the bedroom, I was more than keen. One day we were doing the nasty and he inserted his finger into my behind. The feeling was different and I quite enjoyed it to be honest. Once we were finished I went to the bathroom to wipe myself and when I looked down at the wet wipe it was covered in poo which meant so was his finger. I was mortified but he just laughed at me and said he liked it. I wasn't turned on at all, in fact I never tried sticking anything up my rear end after that experience again.” Nicole - Cape Town
8.“Me and my boyfriend were having sex and I was completely in the moment when I suddenly queefed, most embarrassing experience of my life.” Robyn - Pretoria
9.“Finally I had sex with my crush. I gave him two options - regular or large condom and of course he went with the large. After we had sex he was right next to me and he wasn't wearing the condom which obviously meant that the condom was inside of me. Clearly this guy was way too small for the condom itself. So I was left with the condom inside of me. It was so embarrassing. He even offered to take it out… after that we never saw each other again!” Keenan - Cape Town
10.“I had sex in a car and the girl I was screwing squirted all over my black jeans. I had to go into the club with a white stain on my pants which made it obvious to everyone that we just had sex.” Jason - Johannesburg
11.“I was at a karaoke party when me and my guy decided to have a quickie. Afterwards I was unable to find my panty and by then it was my turn to get on stage. I ended off my act with a high kick and my panty flew out from my jeans leg.” Vanessa - Cape Town
12.“I was invited to spend a weekend away with my boyfriend and his family - we decided to have a shag in the car. The next morning the family got into the car and saw powdered footprints on the windscreen. I completely forgot I put foot powder in my shoes.” Jessica - Johannesburg
13.
“There was this time when I was making out with a guy at a nightclub. We got carried away and lost track of the time. Soon enough we realised that that section of the club had been locked up with us inside! We had to yell to get the attention of a cleaner who had to get a manager to unlock the security gate. His sister arrived as we were coming through the doorway. She didn't believe that we were just "chatting". Awkies! Deluxe awkies! James - Durban