QUESTION: My husband’s a very old-fashioned, shy man, who was persuaded to use a cellphone only when I bought him one for his birthday. So you can imagine my shock when he started sending me sexy texts at work. It’s so out of character. I’m worried he’s having an affair. What’s going on?
ANSWER: Your husband may be old-fashioned in his habits, but you’re the one sounding like a maiden aunt.
You give your spouse a cellphone, then expect him to act like a Boy Scout while using it.
But look around you: even the oldest fogie tends to adapt in unexpected ways to new technologies.
I have one 91-year-old male correspondent who uses the acronym ‘lol’. There’s a new code of behaviour associated with mobile phone use. And for a few repressed souls that can prove unexpectedly liberating.
Why am I so convinced your husband’s saucy texts are largely innocent? Well, for one thing, he’s sending them to you. I don’t think a man who’s having an affair would announce that by sending his wife erotic messages.
Your husband’s behaviour suggests that here is a man who has always wanted to express his passion to you, but hasn’t found a medium to do so.
If he’s as shy as you say, it would be torture to give you sexual compliments in person. And he’s not the only middle-aged husband who’s picked up the youthful art of sexting. I’ve been amazed by the number of female friends who have confided their spouses send them suggestive messages and even intimate photos.
Before we all have a mass attack of the vapours, let’s look at the positive side. It’s touching to hear that any long-married man is so erotically focused on his other half.
If you can bring yourself to return some romantic messages, you may find it does wonders for your love life. There’s nothing like flirting with your spouse to brighten up a dull day.
If you’re still worried, why not ask him what’s going on? My guess is he’s found a way of expressing pent-up desires - which is a wonderful thing in mid-life. Enjoy the second honeymoon!
Daily Mail