Why couples are embracing sleep divorce for better relationships

Published Nov 29, 2024

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In recent years, the term “sleep divorce" has made its way into everyday conversation, and for good reason.

This concept, where couples choose to sleep in separate beds or rooms, is gaining traction as a solution to improve sleep quality and, surprisingly, relationship satisfaction.

According to Google Trends, interest in sleep divorce has doubled since 2021, rising from 17% to a striking 33% in 2024.

Far from indicating relationship trouble, this trend suggests a growing understanding that prioritising individual sleep needs can actually strengthen partnerships.

Why couples are opting for a sleep divorce?

While sleep divorce might sound dramatic, it reflects a significant shift in how couples view sleep and wellness. Many couples are recognising that sharing a bed isn’t always the best option for healthy sleep.

Common disruptions — like snoring, bed hogging and differing schedules — often leave partners feeling groggy and irritable.

A recent survey by MattressNextDay revealed some eye-opening statistics about sleep disturbances in relationships:

  • 47% of people are most annoyed by their partner’s snoring.
  • 24% complain about bed hogging or duvet stealing.
  • 12% cite mismatched alarm schedules as a major source of frustration.
While “sleep divorce” might sound dramatic, it reflects a significant shift in how couples view sleep and wellness. Picture: Andres Ayrton /Pexels

With these irritations in mind, many couples are finding that the simple solution of sleeping apart can lead to better rest and a more harmonious relationship.

Relationship experts are increasingly supportive of the sleep divorce trend. Eimear Draper, a dating coach and founder of Kindling Dating, alludes to the fact that choosing to sleep separately doesn’t have to diminish intimacy. In fact, it can enhance it.

Draper noted: “As long as there is open communication and both sides are on board with the idea of sleeping separately, I think it can work nicely.

“If both people are getting a good night's sleep, they are likely to be more patient and experience less frayed tempers, which benefits the relationship.”

However, she also advised that couples with children need to carefully consider how separate sleeping arrangements might impact their dynamics.

“If one partner bears the brunt of disrupted sleep from kids, it could create tension,” she added. Therefore, maintaining good communication is crucial to ensure that both partners feel connected and supported.

The stigma surrounding sleep divorce is fading, thanks in part to many high-profile couples who openly discuss their sleep arrangements as a means of prioritising health rather than a sign of issues in their relationship.

According to the MattressNextDay survey, 67% of couples worry about sharing a bed with a new partner, yet those in long-term relationships often feel more secure when their individual sleep needs are respected.

This shift in perception highlights that sleeping separately is increasingly viewed as a proactive choice.

By recognising their unique sleep preferences, couples can take important steps toward improving both their physical and mental health.

Tips for making sleep divorce work

For couples contemplating separate sleeping arrangements, experts suggest the following strategies:

Open communication: Frame the decision as a mutual choice aimed at enhancing health and wellbeing, rather than a sign of emotional distance.

Create shared moments: Set aside quality time for connection and intimacy before bed to maintain closeness, such as watching a show together or having a late-night chat.

Design a sleep sanctuary: Make both sleeping spaces comfortable and inviting. This way, neither partner feels neglected or left out.

Revisit as needed: What works now might not work forever. Stay flexible and open to adapting your sleeping arrangements as circumstances change.

Prioritising sleep for a happier relationship

As the interest in sleep divorce continues to rise, couples are redefining what it means to share a life together. The growing acceptance of this practice shows that sleeping apart doesn’t mean growing apart.

Instead, it can lead to a deeper understanding of each partner's needs and a more satisfying relationship overall.