A psychologist, well known on radio and TV as Dr D, spoke on how to adjust to retirement at the Personal Finance/Alexander Forbes Ready Set Retire conference, which was held around South Africa in March.
Your mental wellbeing in retirement is as important as your financial wellbeing, clinical psychologist Dorianne Weil says.
She says entering retirement is a challenging transition that requires major adjustments.
“After many years of being defined by the job we do, many retirees find themselves in uncharted territory. It takes time to realise that many unspoken fears are unfounded. Research shows that the greatest levels of contentment, and fulfilment are yet to come,” Weil says.
Here are Weil’s top 10 tips for a successful transition to retirement:
1. Do not rush into making major changes
Many people make premature decisions, such as selling their home or moving to the coast. Major changes may be appropriate in time, but your paramount need is to have a trustworthy support system. Familiarity is important. Your family doctor and neighbourhood shops, and meeting people with a shared history, provide a sense of continuity and security, Weil says.
2. Be open with your partner
Many retirees look forward to spending more time with their partners, but there may be uncertainty and anxiety about reconnecting in a different way, and this may be difficult to express. “For better or for worse, but not for lunch” may be a cliché, but it exists for a reason, Weil says. Have an open conversation with your partner to align expectations and avoid disappointment, misunderstandings and conflict. Each partner’s career, friendships and interests, which have developed over many years, should be respected, she says.
3. Pursue your interests
It is important that you have something to do in retirement, Weil says. You need something to look forward to every day. Retirement is an opportunity for you to take that old passion off the shelf and to indulge your interests. If you are thinking about meaningful time, consider what you want to achieve apart from simply enjoyment of the activity. Consider whether you want to meet like-minded people and whether you want intellectual stimulation, physical activity, or creative solitude.
4. Make a contribution
Research shows that there is a strong relationship between personal happiness and making a contribution, Weil says. You have years of experience to share, so consider becoming a mentor or getting involved in a philanthropic organisation. Apart from being socially responsible, the camaraderie and learning often bring unexpected rewards.
5. Invest in relationships
Spending time with a partner, friends, children or grandchildren pays the greatest dividends of any investment you will make, Weil says. The enriching connections, the mutual support, the sharing of experiences, the meaningful conversations and the fun may bring immeasurable joy. You will never regret spending time with family and friends, Weil says.
6. What am I hungry for?
For most of your life you have been “outer directed” – dictated to by career and economic criteria, as well as social demands. Now is the time to listen to your inner drumbeat and ask: “What am I hungry for?” Your desires are the starting point of your new journey. Indulge yourself; you deserve it, Weil says.
7. Resolve conflicts
Many people have unresolved issues and conflicts that contaminate their relationships. As you move into retirement, it is time to address these, Weil says. Remember that too much pride causes too much pain. It is never more important to win than to be happy. Be the one who takes the initiative to reconcile. You also need to understand what is really important. It is not important if a grandchild spills something on a carpet – what matters are the big things, such as whether anyone has been hurt, physically or in their heart.
8. Develop a routine
Flexibility is a luxury of retirement. However, establishing a routine of exercise, meeting with friends or family and participating in activities will give your life some structure. Health is very important. This requires regular exercise, adequate sleep and a healthy diet, Weil says.
9. Consider your legacy
Leaving an adequate legacy to children and grandchildren is one of the concerns retirees have. Hopefully, Weil says, that legacy will include lessons about life. Although a financial legacy is important, your priority must be your own financial needs.
10. Get financial advice
Financial security in retirement is a priority; without it, you will find it difficult to adapt. It is important to find a qualified and trustworthy financial adviser who understands your needs. Do your homework to find someone who is right for you. Recommendations from friends are useful. Be comfortable with asking questions – you are the customer, Weil says.