Retirement is a good time for a personal audit, says psychologist Dorianne
Cara Weil.
``What you are is more important than what you do and it`s a comfort to
remember that as you approach retirement,`` she told listeners at the
Personal Finance/Investment Frontiers Retire Rich conference.
Weil suggests that you use the approach of retirement as an opportunity to
take stock and ask yourself:
- what your goals are;
- where you have been and where you are going;
- how you want to spend your energy from now on;
- why you are getting out of the rat race; and
- what you really believe in.
``The future is now, today and not tomorrow,`` she says and it`s important to
ask yourself what you mean by success.
Too often success is defined by achievements or money, Weil says, and some
people generally thought of as successful are just ``suffering in comfort``.
True success is about having someone to love, something to do - not
necessarily a job, it can be a hobby- and something to look forward to.
``Self-actualisation stresses more the personality than its achievements``,
she says.
People who are fulfilled are risk takers who try new things; they
participate in life and want to see what life still has to offer; they see
beauty everywhere and function independently of outcome. And they are
lateral thinkers.
``Learn to get in touch with your wants and to look inwards rather than
outwards or you won`t get a sense of fulfilment.``
Obstacles to this sort of fulfilment include the gender roles imposed on
both men and women (the ``cowboys don`t cry`` myth, for instance) and worries
about predictable and unpredictable sources of stress. But the key, says
Weil, is to balance the ``inner drumbeat`` of your own wants and the demands
of society.
``You can enhance your life at retirement. Older is definitely better ...
age brings a greater sense of meaning.``
Advice from Weil on how to be self-fulfilled in retirement is: remember you
have the right
- to be treated with respect;
- not to take responsibility for anyone else;
- to get angry;
- to make mistakes;
- to have your own feelings, opinions and convictions;
- to change your mind;
- to negotiate for change;
- to ask for support or help;
- to protest against unfair treatment or criticism; and
- to say no without feeling guilty.