Johannesburg - Former gender-based violence perpetrator Lebogang Seboni, 33, who is now working with non-profit organisation Father a Nation, has bravely come forward to highlight the violence he has experienced and how to change the pattern.
Hailing from Alexandra, Johannesburg, Seboni says that as a teenager dating young women he began to emulate the behaviours of his older male relatives and friends around him. It started with verbal threats and talking down to any girl he was dating or interacting with.
"I saw a lot of violence growing up. In Alexandra, a lot of us grew up the same way, regularly seeing older guys beating up women, especially their girlfriends. As we understood it, if your girlfriend was acting in a manner you didn’t like, you needed to slap her or hit her, so she understood not to do that again," says Seboni.
He says he never struggled with replacing women until he lost his job and was left with nothing but time to reflect on his life and a chance to become someone better.
Then he joined Father a Nation, a non-profit organisation that helps young men to navigate the struggles of masculinity.
Through the organisation – which works to restore and equip men to be nation-builders, fathers, and role models – Seboni learned what he now teaches other men: how to bring positive masculinity into the communities in which they live.
He says he witnessed gender-based violence at home perpetrated by his own father against his mother and other women in their lives. Seboni said he realised that even his father had learned this behaviour from his own father. "I had to be the one to break the pattern," he says.
Seboni is now involved in campaigns that seek to eradicate gender-based violence in townships, aiming to help troubled men channel their energy towards building, and not destroying, their communities.
Seboni says he wants to dedicate his work to the memory of his grandmother and is committed to being the last generation that perpetrates violence against women.
The Star