Never use absolutes, my first news editor sternly told me, back in 1989 when I was a junior reporter on The Zululand Observer.
So that meant no proclaiming people and things “the biggest,” “the best,” “the most unique” and so forth.
Over the years I think I’ve broken that rule quite a few times. And I’m about to break it again, when I call Makaranga Garden Lodge, in the sylvan suburb of Kloof, KwaZulu-Natal, the most unique hotel in South Africa.
Indeed, while boutique hotels now abound, many of them with their own USPs (unique selling points), to use a vaguely irritating piece of marketing-speak, none of them sits in their own 30-acre botanical garden.
Making it all the more remarkable is that Makaranga is in the middle of an upmarket suburb and I can only imagine how lustfully developers must look at those beautiful, rolling 30 acres – but don’t worry, it’s held in a trust and, God willing, will remain unsullied for decades to come.
This is happy news.
The Makaranga gardens are home to indigenous and exotic flora, resplendent with art work – as is the lodge itself – and sculptures, including a 2m-high carrara marble copy of Michelangelo’s David.
Guests can wander the wheelchair-friendly pathways through the gardens, drinking in the Shona and Italian sculptures set amid a glorious array of magnolias, rhododendrons, orchids and camellias.
Then there’s the Japanese garden, prolific bird life and 18 ponds and waterways – and set here and there are little bronze statues of Venus, Pan and others.
It’s all vaguely magical, and when the light is low recalls, for me, nothing so much as The Piper at the Gates of Dawn – the loveliest of all the chapters in The Wind in the Willows, itself a lovely book, and one that is certainly not just for children.
As CS Lewis said, “no book is really worth reading at the age of 10 which is not equally – and often far more – worth reading at the age of 50 and beyond”.
It’s also special to recline on the veranda of your room and drink in the serenity of it all, as I did, marvelling that Durban is only 25km or so away.
The rooms themselves are wheelchair friendly, as is the whole of the lodge, and mine was especially huge. I could have played badminton in it. And besides the normal things like air-con and tea and coffee-making facilities and wifi, I was delighted to see a work desk in the room, too.
In total, Makaranga has 20 individually decorated rooms and suites, and a two-bed apartment for long-stay guests.
It’s all just what you’d expect from a five-star boutique hostelry and I am especially glad to report that even in the newer west wing the designers haven’t given in to the temptation to build those stupid, open-plan bathrooms that seem to proliferate in trendier establishments these days.
Of course, many readers secretly like to read criticism in pieces like this, and because it’s starting to look like a paid-for advertorial – for the sole reason that I’m hard-pushed to do anything but bestow on Makaranga the highest possible recommendation – let me just say I was cold at night.
I arrived during a freezing spell and couldn’t find a duvet anywhere in the room when the blankets on the bed proved insufficient.
The reason being that duvets aren’t supplied. A strange omission in a top-drawer establishment and one that may well be solved by the time you read this.
I took it up with general manager Jaco Fourie – a likeable, genial individual who’s been in that position since Makaranga opened in 2002 – and he said that with unusually frigid temperatures, this was being addressed.
Jaco also hinted that some interesting new expansion work would be starting later this year, but I know Makaranga Lodge will never lose its sylvan serenity. Nor will it ever do anything but blend into its surrounds, as it does now.
On a more practical note, there are excellent conference facilities and a gloriously sybaritic spa, offering everything from facials to body wraps. But if you plan to indulge, you should make a booking before you arrive to stay.
And the food? Well, I’d better call it cuisine, because the fare at Makaranga is in the same class as the gardens, which is to say top-notch. Over the years I’ve eaten many times here, in both the Wild Poplar – offering a formal à la carte dinner menu – and on the Tuscan Terrace, where lunch and breakfast is served.
On this two-night trip I ate only breakfast, which was unsurprisingly outstanding, but I have happy memories of languid lunches and superb dinners at Makaranga, and nothing, I believe, has changed.
While I’m here, I think I should also mention not just the public areas of the lodge, with their hand-painted murals, treasure trove of art and classical furnishings, but the staff.
Now everyone can pretend to like their jobs, but the staff at Makaranga give the impression – and it’s impossible to fake – that they’re proud to work there, and pleased that you chose to visit, whether you’re a day visitor exploring the gardens at nominal cost or a guest.
I could go on and expand on how wonderful it must be to have a wedding here. Or tell you that I seek nothing so much as peace in this life, and for a while at Makaranga, drinking coffee on my veranda in the early morning, I felt it, just briefly.
Instead I’ll just say that while I stayed on this visit as a guest of the lodge, I will stay again next time I’m down in the area, which is my old home town.
And I’ll happily pay, with rates starting at a bit over R1 200 for a single occupancy.
l Call Makaranga Garden Lodge on 031 764 6616 or e-mail [email protected] - Sunday Independent